lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
