I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
