Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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