Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
