You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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