erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
