She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
