I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
