Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
