Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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