my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
