quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
