your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
