youre lurking in front of me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
