tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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