They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize