How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
