She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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