thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
