Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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