just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize