At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
