I skipped work to stalk him.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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