she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
