I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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