tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
