omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
