the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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