I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize