He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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