it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My bed smells like the plague
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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