so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
