Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize