Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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