As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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