i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
