Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize