I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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