We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's blow job season.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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