i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
