My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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