we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
