you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
