I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize