The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Operation Purity has been aborted
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
