I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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