the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
soo... how was my night?
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