Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
