Apparently you make a good broom.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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