So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
