Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
