Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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