My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
