trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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