Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
