Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
