She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
