Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
