I think I am morally bankrupt
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Be still, my beating vagina.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
