Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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