My first STD was from a foam party
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
