I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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