I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
