I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
