if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
