I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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