I only kidnapped one of them. chill
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
