I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
